My good friend Chelf made some comments on the post "I miss church" so I thought I'd continue with this subject again...
First, I need to say that I, in no way, believe I am better than anyone else. Anything I discuss in my blog concerning problems I see in the churches around me do not exclude my own actions. I am quite guilty of many things. I think that's why it bothers me so much... because I want to change things, but won't step out on my own. Or something.
Chelf said: "I don't think it was a POINT of change. I think it was gradual. I also think that there is longing in us to get back to the original message. People of our age are jumping at the chance of foreign mission work, small group study, and work harder to show the Love of Christ. Why? Maybe because we want to see it, so we know we must share it first."
Chelf's comments were in regards to my wondering when the churches of Christ changed our goal from reaching and accepting and loving all, to a fashion show meet and greet that often leaves visitors feeling unwelcome and leaving with unanswered questions. At least, that's the way I feel about it. And don't get me wrong, I don't think think this is the case in every congregation. I'm mostly just ranting on not being able to find a church I feel good about like I had in Oklahoma City.
I agree with Chelf, wholeheartedly. I want to say that I've learned more and felt closer to God in small group studies and I know that people our age are embracing this type of "church service" for that very same reason. Since moving here, I've heard people (including preachers and elders) say things to the effect of "meeting in people's homes for church services in smaller settings is not scriptual" or that "breaking up into smaller groups is just another way of 'forsaking the assembly'." Does this sound ridiculous to anyone else? It seems to me that people are so reluctant to step into unknown realms (realms that could lead more people to Christ) because it's not the way things have been done in the past.
I don't think things done in the past were wrong. But I think we're lying to ourselves if we deny the fact that our means of bringing people to Christ need to change with the times. And notice, I said "OUR MEANS," not "OUR MESSAGE". Our message should never change. We should always teach and show Christ's love to everyone. Even (especially) those to whom it is most difficult to show this love and acceptance. (John 13:35 - By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.) (I Corinthians 13:4-7 - Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.)
I know that I'm not going to get anything out a worship service if I don't put something in to it. But I find myself holding back at churches here, because I'm so afraid of being rebuked if I sing too loud, too off key, if a certain verse to a song makes me my soul want to dance and I sway a little to the music. That hasn't happened, but I can see it happening. I can't say that I get particularly spirited in my worship... I'm not a dance up and down the aisles kind of girl. But I'm afraid of "stepping out of line" in anything I do.
The church my parents attend* makes me particularly angry in this sense. I know the anger is my sin, not theirs, but c'mon... a young man wearing flip flops when he's supposed to be teaching a class or preaching has nothing to do with his message, does it?
In Romans 12:1-2 the Word says: "Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."
So, if the shoes we wear to the worship service aren't the best ones we have in our closet (or the middle of our bedroom floor...where ever we may be inclined to store them), does that mean we aren't presenting our best to God? Or is worrying about So-and-So's shoes instead of concentrating on your own worship an example of "conforming to the pattern of this world"? I am asking because I truly don't know.
In general, I just get an uneasy feelings towards churches here, so I've stopped going like I should. The fact that I let it bother me to that extent is where I fall short, and an area in which I need considerable amounts of prayer and repenting. I'm trying to work through these feelings I have, and it's hard. Hard on me.
I just want to find a place to worship my God without hesitation and fear of doing something deemed inappropriate if my heart is stirred. (Psalm 47:1 - Clap your hands, all you nations; shout to God with cries of joy.) (Psalm 141:2 - May my prayer be set before you like incense; may the lifting up of my hands be like the evening sacrifice.)
I want to find a place to worship my God where the leadership is concerned and passionate about finding ways we can present our message and make our relationship with God more meaningful in this day and age, i.e. a small intimate Bible study in each other's homes.
I want to find a place to worship my God where instead of hearing "Well, we won't do that because it's never been done that way before," I hear, "Let me study and pray on what you're suggesting," or even "It says in Book, Chapter, and Verse that what you are suggesting isn't the way we are to conduct ourselves." If I truly do or suggest something inappropriate, and am presented with actual Biblical proof, I will repent of my failure and change my ways. So far, I've received no spiritual backing for the nit-picking I've been exposed to.
Has anyone else felt these things? Or I am being particularly stubborn and/or relentless? And also... How do you make yourself continue to attend worship with a congregation(s) that makes you wonder why you even bother to come.
That was a lot to get off my chest. I'm not even sure it's written coherently enough to understand.
*I respect my parents, and I respect the majority of the people who attend that particular congregation. I seek not to offend any specific person(s), nor anyone in general, with my words and so I will hopefully refrain from doing so by not listing further examples.
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2 comments:
The next time someone says that Small Groups are not Biblical, make sure to remember that Jesus had a Small Group that He took aside for deeper study.... They were called Apostles. 12. That is a pretty small group.
I don't really want you to remind the person... because I know I would be haughty about it, and I don't know how you would be.
I have one suggestion for your search for a "church" family. Compare all you hear and all you discuss with the Bible. The one that is closest to the Book is the one you should stick with.
Sometimes, the goal should be to change from the inside. When you feel that the pond is stagnant, you have to swim around and stir things up. Not causing controversy, but honestly (and humbly) asking questions. Dig into the scripture with the leaders who have already done so. They may discover that you are closer than they thought.
Sometimes, unfortunately, the goal is to change to a different pond. But make it the last resort, not the threat.
I feel kinda like you do, Nicki. I've got some concerns or issues or whatever you want to call them with what our church has become. And sometimes I feel like I'm banging my head against a brick wall to try and get them changed, or at least headed in the right direction. The thing that I've come to realize is that I can only be responsible for myself. If I want change then I have to be responsible for starting it.
There is a small group of us who want to get back to fellowshipping together and who want to make the church more welcoming for new people and who want a stronger youth program. We just started planning activities and doing them. It still feels like banging my head against a wall sometimes, but I can see some change. I don't know if this helps or not, but hang in there!
By the way, I miss you!!!!
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