I wanted to tell you...

I wanted to tell you that I know I haven't written much lately. And that I'm sorry...

I wanted to tell you that I accepted a new position at work. It's a day shift position. I was working 2nd shift, which wasn't so bad, but I'm very happy to have my evenings free again.

I wanted to tell you that in accepting this position I had been working 10 hour days for a while. Going in early to train for my new job and then working my current job.

I wanted to tell you that I enjoyed the overtime paychecks. I paid off bills. I paid off one of my medical bills (although there are still plenty that I'm ignoring), I paid of my actual Oklahoma Christian bill (although there is still a huge goverment student loan looming over me). But that I felt accomplished.

I wanted to tell you that even though I'm paranoid about my laptop, I forgot, for one night to unplug it and it got zapped by lightning. I wanted to tell you that I was/am sad. I miss it.

I wanted to tell you I was ashamed at myself because I felt a deep sense of loss from the death of the laptop. And that I realized I cared more about losing the laptop than I did about not being able to find my Bible for over a month. That hurt me deeply. I prayed about it... I'm forgiven. And my Bible has been within arms reach ever since then. It's proven to be quite an asset.

I wanted to tell you that my brother and sister-in-law are expecting again. And that everyone was excited. And that everything was pointing towards a healthy pregnancy. And that we all breathed a sigh of relief.

I wanted to tell you that on their 2nd doctor appointment (just a week and a half after the first with such great news) they didn't hear the heartbeat. This is the second baby they've lost in 2 years. And that they're (we're all) heartbroken.

I wanted to tell you that they need your prayers because there is a lot of confusion and anger right now. Tim told me he was angry at God because it wasn't fair to Lindsey. She wants to be a mom so much. Tim also told me that he didn't even want to try again if it meant losing another, because it breaks his heart every night when he has to hold Lindsey and let her cry herself to sleep.

I wanted to tell you that they're doing better, but still need prayers. Please pray for them.

I wanted to tell you that I've placed membership with the Crosswinds church of Christ. And that I enjoy them very much.

There are a lot of things I've been wanting to tell you, but haven't had the time, energy, or emotion to do so. I'm sorry for the long silence.